Water Stress and Contamination
Americans dump sixteen tons of sewage into their water supply every minute (HES). In today’s world there are many problems; economic problems, social problems, environmental problems, health problems and so on. The list goes on and on. Although many people do not feel affected by certain problems, in the end, they are. One such problem is water contamination. Most Americans have access to clean, usable water. What most Americans don’t know is how fast the world’s water supply is being contaminated beyond repair. You may be saying ‘so what? I’ve had absolutely no problems with any water contamination’ or ‘it rains and the water supply is replenished regularly’. You may not have any issue with water contamination at the moment but in the future there are guaranteed problems. The fact of the matter is, we are slowly but surely contaminating the world’s water supply. No matter how much rain we receive the current water supply is diminishing. Chemicals, sewage, industrial waste, and many other harmful things are making their way into the drinking water.
People that are especially affected by water contamination are those who live in third world countries and that have no money, few (if any) rights, and have no choice about where they live. These people are exploited and used by companies and organizations that only care about money. Many of these companies cheat, lie and exploit whomever they need to in order to get their money. Often times it is also at the expense of natural resources as well as human rights and living conditions. Unclean mines leak deadly chemicals into native peoples’ water and land causing death and an inability to use the land or water.
One region where water stress and contamination are extremely evident and problematic is Sub-Saharan Africa. Many of Sub-Saharan Africa’s problems stem from water stress and contamination in one way or another. Government disputes over the water system have led to increased risks to water born diseases (such as cholera). Insufficient amounts of water (due to contamination, drought, infrastructure problems and others) have caused violent disputes across borders and within nations in Sub-Saharan Africa causing many deaths and rifts across cultures. There are problems similar to these in other countries but Sub-Saharan Africa suffers greatly because of many problems. The water problems are often created or affected by environmental problems, economic problems, and social problems among others. One of the more widely known crises throughout the world is the Darfur crisis. Part of this crisis can be blamed on water disputes or problems related to the water supply. This is one extreme example of how water contamination/stress has caused major problems for people living in developing countries.
You may wonder what the affects of water contamination and/or lack of potable water has on public health and, according to The Council on Foreign Relations, ‘In a global study conducted by the United Nations, unsafe water is responsible for around 80 percent of diseases and 30 percent of deaths in developing countries throughout the world. In Africa, which accounts for 90 percent of global cases of malaria, water stress plays an indirect role in curing malaria because it impedes the human recovery process.’ We see that here in the United States we are so fortunate to have clean, running water in an apparent abundance all the time. Much of the developing world doesn’t have clean drinking water let alone water for water slides and pools. Sub-Saharan Africa suffers greatly from lack of infrastructure which leads to problems with the water supply. They do not have the technology or the money to have proper sanitation systems. Water problems can be as severe as they are in Sub-Saharan Africa but also can come in different sizes.
Another form of contamination that is often overlooked is that of hormones in the water supply. The extremely high usage of birth control in society today causes numerous problems. These hormones are carried into the water supply through urination and often times find themselves in lakes and stream that are the homes to fish and other water creatures. They live much of their lives in the water with high levels of estrogen in them and begin to give birth to only female offspring. If this trend continues, certain species of fish could become endangered and eventually extinct.
Beyond these types of problems, others still exist. Thousands of contaminants find their way into the drinking water all the time. These chemicals are found in everyday items and simple misuse puts them in our drinking water. All of the chemicals that we use on our lawns, in our cars, and many other places all get soaked up or cycled through the water supply. These chemicals have been linked to cancer and other degenerative diseases.
In summary, if water stress and contamination is not stopped, there will be no clean drinking water, disease will reach an all time high, and society could potentially fall apart.
The beginning of this post does a good job of recognizing that some people may not care about clean water; recognition for the ignorant opposition or the “unknowing” side of the argument is clearly stated. However, I feel like there is a gap in this argument: while you do a good job of identifying the fact that people in America may not care about water contamination, your argument lacks the persuasive edge it needs to convince those readers to care. This is where I think an appeal to pathos could be useful. Giving a story or an account about water contamination in Sub-Saharan Africa would further persuade your audience to believe in your main claim. While stating that Sub-Saharan Africa in fact has a problem with water contamination boosts your ethos, a more profound or provocative appeal to pathos would be more convincing that this problem in the world should change. People know that there is suffering around the world; the difference between someone who cares and someone who is ignorant can be as simple as a striking image that plays on the emotions. I think that providing that imagery for your readers would greatly strengthen your argument.
ReplyDeleteThe article is very focused and narrowed, the point that you’re arguing is defined very well, supporting your argument with examples like Sub-Saharan Africa. Using other examples like the Darfur crisis was really good to show your readers that you’re well aware of the problem which gives you credibility with your audience. I think you should elaborate more on the examples that you showed-Darfur crisis for examples-and explain what happened, and what was the cause, and how devastating the consequences were, and by doing that you can tell the audience in a more effective way why water contamination is bad. Also the use of pathos can convince your audience if you use a short story of a family that was living in Darfur and they got sick because of the water contamination, or any sad story that shows the terrible affects of water contamination. the use of quotes gave you credibility and the article overall is well written, good job
ReplyDeleteThis project was much different than anything i have done before. All of my english/writing classes have always been based around reading novels and then writing formal essays about them. This was pretty cool for me. I enjoyed certain aspects of this project very much. It is a much different way to collaborate and get ideas about my writing than i am used to. I learned that people really read what you are saying and have their own opinions on it and that you really need to cater your writing to specific audiences. That was the biggest thing for me. Realizing that you need to be aware that how you read your writing is not how everyone else reads it. I tried to used appeals to pathos and other rhetorical devices but according to what other readers thought i didn't do a particularly good job. I needed to have more appeals to pathos or stronger appeals to pathos in my argument. I thought that i had done a relatively good job of providing facts that would stir an emotional response but i don't think i ended up doing that. For the final portfolio i guess i will strongly revise this piece of writing. I will use the suggestions that were given by my classmates to try and better the argument. I will try to make a stronger appeal to pathos and incorporate more stories instead of facts. I guess i need to make it more emotional and human instead of just giving the facts. Although these facts seem to inspire an emotional response in me, not everyone reads things the way i do. I will focus on pathos in my revision.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tim, for your post. I'm glad that this provided you with a different way of thinking about writing. In terms of your revision, I would say that I think you've done a good job giving a compelling overview to the issue and speaking about it in a way that clearly conveys your stance toward the issue. What I do think is lacking are specific examples, details, or as your peers suggest appeal to pathos that could ground this discussion. For example, when you make assertions about the nature of the problem (like at the end of the first paragraph) it could be helpful to include additional evidence about the degree of this problem. Your opening statistic is great in this regard, but I wonder if you could provide additional evidence like this throughout your piece?
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